First of all, don't think that just because you are a man that you are safe from sexual assault. 3% of American men have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. So, don't make the mistake of thinking that this is a crime that only effects women. Be safe and don't put yourself in any situation where you don't feel comfortable. Be aware of your surroundings at all times. Be alert and have friends with you when you go out. Remember, just because you are a man doesn't mean you are bulletproof. However, since the vast majority of victims and survivors of sexual assault are female, I will deal mostly with what men can do to reduce the number of sexual assaults on females and ways that men can better serve as support for survivors of sexual assault.

1. Always Ask If What You Are Doing Is OK.
As a facilitator of presentations to raise men's awareness of sexual assault, and teaching men what is and isn't acceptable behavior, I always ask one simple question. Is there anything sexier than when a potential partner says yes? Absolutely not. Therefore, we should ask at every step of interaction if what we are doing is ok with them. If they are into it, then you get to hear them say those three little letters again and again, but if they aren't, there will be no misunderstandings that can lead to awkwardness at best, and jail time, at worst.

That is the only step that there really is to follow for an encounter. If you make sure that you get an explicit yes at every step of the way, without any form of coercion, then you are welcome to enjoy each other's company and have a good, safe time. However, the rest of my advice is about ways to be a better supporter to somebody who comes to you after having been sexually assaulted. This may seem like a long shot, but studies have shown that over 80% of sexual assault survivors will turn to men for support after the incident as opposed to women. Therefore, it is good to have some basic tools on how to handle that situation.

1. Always Believe Them
This person has come to you because they trust you and depend on you. It is the least you can do to show them the same respect. A sexual assault survivor is going to be forced to undergo a litany of tests and interrogations, if they decide to report the crime, and therefore doesn't need the person that they turn to after this traumatic event to question them too. Just be there for them with unwavering belief.

2. Do Not Resort To Violence
The first urge that many people have when a friend comes to them with the news that they have been sexually assaulted is to find the person who did it and beat them within an inch of their life. However, this is the exact wrong reaction. The survivor that has come to you has just been subjected to the most violent betrayal of trust that can happen to somebody, short of murder, therefore, it is seriously doubtful that they are going to want you to answer that with more violence. Once again, the best course of action is to be there for them, with unwavering support.

3. Encourage Them To Contact Authorities
This is one of the hardest things for a survivor to do, for several reasons. For instance, it is more than likely that the survivor knows their attacker. 73% of sexual assaults are committed by non-strangers. That means that almost 3/4 of the time the person who committed this horrible act was a known figure in the survivor's life. In fact, the average length of time that a woman has known her attacker is just over 1 year. This makes it hard to contact authorities, because the infernal "blame game" that follows a sexual assault allegation(the survivor being blamed in any number of ways) can wreak havoc within their social circle. This is one of the reasons that 60% of rapes go unreported.

However, it is still necessary that you, as their confidant and friend, encourage them to contact the authorities. Just remember that it is ultimately their choice and that, no matter what you choose, you should give unwavering support.

4. Encourage Them To Seek Professional Counseling And Do So Yourself
This is actually one of, if not the, most important step in helping a survivor cope with the traumatic event that they have experienced. Survivors of sexual assault are 3 times more likely to suffer depression and 4 times more likely to contemplate suicide than people who have not been assaulted. They also suffer from astronomically higher tendencies towards drug and alcohol abuse. While it is, once again, the survivor's ultimate decision whether or not to pursue counseling, you should very strongly encourage them to do so.

It is also critical that you strongly consider counseling yourself. Odds are good that if this person felt comfortable enough with you to seek you out after such a traumatic event, that you are invested in what happens to them. Therefore, the trauma that they have had forced upon them is going to have a profound effect on you too. It is not a sign of weakness that you need to discuss this with a professional. It is a sign of knowing your own limits and accepting the help that is available to you.

5. Finally, Do Not Touch The Survivor Without Their Permission
This is a hard step for many people to follow. The first instinct many have when confronted with a fellow human who has been harmed in such a profound way is to want to offer comfort through a hug or touch of some kind. While this may, in fact, be exactly what the survivor needs, it may also be extremely traumatic for them to have that happen without warning or permission, considering the way that their body has been violated. The easiest way to avoid causing more problems is to resort to the simple task of asking if they want a hug or to be held. While it may seem awkward, they will appreciate the kindness and the thoughtfulness of asking.

I hope that this hasn't come across as overly preachy or obvious, but I know, from experience, that many people are at a loss for what to do when somebody comes to them after a traumatic event, such as a sexual assault. I hope that these few guidelines help to assist those people in having a better understanding of what they can do to help a survivor.