"We feel that this is the conservative compassionate thing to do, not only do they get the usual low paying menial jobs but they go back to live in the conditions they are used to; no money, no food, no shelter, you know, just like back home and our own folks then get back their good paying jobs at McDonalds, Wal-mart and chicken packing plants in Mississippi."

After being appraised of the plan, India's ambassador to the UN, Mahatma Sihng Ahlong, called an emergency meeting of the Security Council. Decrying what he called a "dastardly attempt by America to send hordes of Mexicans and other foreigners to our country," the indignant diplomat strongly voiced his government's objection to the scheme and told members of the council that, "We will not allow this by gollie, these people will do nothing but apply for government handouts, spawn a wave of stabbings and take jobs from our own destitute poor masses, and besides, since Mexicans actually look like Indians we will have a very difficult time rounding them up to repatriate them back to where they came from (can we say Los Angeles here?)."

Another problem voiced by the Indian ambassador is that tortillas and frijoles are not sold in India bringing up the specter of food riots and uncontrolled construction of Taco Huts all over Bombay, Calcutta and other Indian cities. At a later press conference, Mr. Sihng Ahlong told a reporter from the National Enquirer that Pakistan was a much better place for the undocumenteds to be outsourced to "as those Pakistani devils already have a large number of Taliban illegal aliens living living there."

President Calderon of Mexico, vacationing at his villa in Isla De Mujeres, issued a short and curt communique, "Ok gringos please stop your pendejadas, our people deserve better than India, may I suggest Norway?"

More to the point, a watchdog group in Mexico City, La Sociedad De Trabajadores Xochitelcopoteptl, announced that the unemployment rate in Mexico has been dropping steadily for the last ten years as more desperate workers and campesinos move to "El Norte," the land that many Mexicans call "The land of my ancestors," since many of them have parents and grandparents that worked there during the 40's and 50's under the "brazero" program. In fact, some of them were actually born in the USA, delivered by "parteras," Mexican-American midwives, and now unable to get passports or visas as the US. government will not recognize birth certificates filled out by these women.

Bubba Wayne, Ricky Wayne and Bobby Wayne have been scheduled to be interviewed on the Fox News Channel by Bill O'Reilly. The interview promises to be the most controversial show by O'Reilly since he beat the snot out of Bobo the Clown on the air back in 1997.