Current purity culture, from which promise rings come, purports to protect teens from the sexualization of society and give them clear rules. I’m sure Jordan Sparks, the Jonas Brothers and a ton of other teens have had long conversations about the type of relationship they are looking for, how to use contraception when they do decide to engage in sexual intercourse, and how to set positive limits on all the other sexual behaviors not covered by intercourse. However, that isn’t the case for most teens who are part of purity pledges. If the intention is to become healthy, sexual adults who seek loving, supportive, and just relationships, teens need help understanding a variety of characteristics of a good relationship, not just one – abstinence.

Purity pledges can reinforce gender stereotypes and inaccurate views of sexuality. This construction of sexuality gives very limited options for male and female ways of interacting – not to mention a total exclusion of gay, lesbian, or questioning teens. It is often young women who are given the responsibility of protecting and saving their virginity while waiting for their God-ordained husband to find them. Young men are told to guard themselves so as not to violate a young woman’s purity. And then there is the message that sexuality is dangerous, powerful, and overwhelming; but when you get married it will be perfect. The suggestion is that sexuality and sexual expression is a slippery slope beyond our control and should be avoided all together -- exactly the opposite of what we want responsible teens to know. Yes, sexuality is powerful, but it is within your control and making decisions that honor yourself and others is a way to become a sexually healthy adult.

I think both Jordan Sparks and the Jonas Brothers are setting an example of making personal decisions that honor their values. It is important to note that a teen purity culture needs to be done on a small scale and be well supported to be successful. Sociologists have shown that over 88% of virginity pledges are broken and pledgers have lower rates of condom and contraceptive use when they break their pledges (Bruckner and Bearman, 2005). In many abstinence-only programs, youth hear “just say no,” often missing from such education is medically accurate information on contraception, how our bodies change, procreation, transmission of sexually transmitted infections, how to define healthy relationships, and how to communicate one’s values.

Teens deserve more. I hope MTV will keep the conversation going . . .