Close friends and family know that I usually last until around the opening credits before I fall asleep during a movie. Good friend Alan Schumacher from Wichita accompanied us and had been up since five in the morning (another thing I didn't know, there's a five in the morning also!). He put Dottie on "nudge alert" in case of snoring. No alert was necessary for any of us.

Usually, I would have Pat Lowry to keep me awake with his timely remarks, but alas, he and Jen had family in town. I did feel Pat's presence, as the percussionist had an uncanny resemblance to our local editor. Perhaps a younger brother -- or dare I say, son?

I will leave the reviews to those that know of culture. We had a great time. Congrats to Carol Brock and the Encore Series committee for a great evening.

* * *

During a silent movie, the "talking" is written on the screen. At one point, the horsemanship of Zorro was mentioned. I couldn't help but be reminded of a letter to the editor this past week by local attorney, Tom Boone.

He compared the three current presidential candidates to the actions of horses he had learned while growing up in Wallace County ; old horses, young horses and mares.

In local political circles, we often joke that an endorsement by Boone at any level is the kiss of death. Boone endorsed the "old" horse and his comment on the "mare" was just sexist, at best.

Being part of the "political circle," I was asked if I thought the letter should be taken as coming from the horse's mouth. I duly noted, "Probably a little further back than that."

* * *

I was chastised by Bernie Brull for being scooped on the Ness City toilet story. The timing was all wrong, so instead of writing about it, I did take a backseat.

Bernie wrote, "That you should be scooped on toilet humor, not to mention an event of national stature is truly appalling. To not even call you for comment, unforgivable. I would hold a grudge if I were you.

"I had the "pleasure" of serving Ness City schools for a year. Let me just say that on my way to the schools each week, I passed a porch in town which had a block of limestone on it, on which was carved: 'Go away.'

"Ah, Ness City , the northern gateway to Hodgeman County.¬Â Ah, the beauty and glory of the county tree. Just the memories of it all make me want to spend some quality time in the bathroom.¬Â Gotta go."

* * *

Two more things about The Mark of Zorro. They used the word "licentious" twice. Them dirty old 1920s people. Go ahead and look it up. I didn't know what it meant either.

Also, Zorro was a Democrat. He had to be. See the movie.

* * *

A reader from Salina commented on my last column and my self-professed little knowledge of the world's oldest profession. "Glenn, there is something you should know about hookers. You don't pay them for sex. You pay them to leave afterward."

I would say another reader who replied to that column would agree. He had written about an experience with a prostitute at the other end of the payment spectrum. No $2,000 an hour New York hooker for him -- 10 bucks in K.C. Things are just cheaper in Kansas .

* * *

For all of you tired of all this sex in today's news, go to time/world/article/0,8599,1723811,00.html about last week's phenomenon. It seems that several different religions had observances that happened to fall on the same day as Good Friday this year. Interesting stuff. If the Web site address doesn't work, try googling Time with Pruim or Narouz or Magha Puja.

* * *

Finally, a note from Dan Glickman. I first met Dan as a congressman from Wichita , and we have stayed in contact throughout the years. He wrote, "Your comments about Eliot Spitzer were hilarious. Just as an FYI, I was at the annual D.C. Gridiron Dinner last Saturday night and, lo and behold, Eliot Spitzer is at my table. There he was, certainly after he was told that he was a target of this investigation (and less than 48 hours before the story breaks in the New York Times), happy as a lark and chatting amiably with several dozen members of the Fourth Estate at a dinner honoring President Bush and just about every senior member of the US Government. If this had been me, I would have been hiding under the table."

I agree. I would still be hiding under the table. With thoughts of Lorena Bobbit's swashbuckling dancing in my head.

(also published in the Hays Daily News)