Noriega: I said, "I bet you don't get to eat many Jeno's Pizzas."

Me: I was just kiddin' anyway.

Noriega: It's so hard to tell. It looks like you're keeping your weight on just fine.

Noriega: Why doesn't your D.D. come in and join you here? (He turns to grab the other half of the combo).

Me: She doesn't even like to be seen dropping me off here.

Noriega: What did you say?

Me: She had to drop something off at work.

Noriega: I loved your Oktoberfest stuff.

Me: I've beat that stuff to death.

Noriega: That's never stopped you in the past.

Me: I've got a great idea for next year's pre-Oktoberfest column.

Noriega: (Yawns) I can't wait.

Me: A little enthusiasm, please.

Noriega: I was trying to repress my unbridled enthusiasm.

Noriega: I see where Sam Brownback is going to endorse John McCain for president.

Me: (Yawns)

Noriega: See, it's contagious.

Noriega: I thought it a bit childish when you told that reporter to kiss your big fat rosy red Will Manly.

Me: He started it.

Noriega: What did he think of that?

Me: I heard he laughed; but his mommy was mad.

Noriega: The Gov kinda took a hit from the Speaker of the House -- that Mel Neufeld fella -- when he was in Hays the other day.

Me: Speaker Neufeld will most likely figure out some day what his predecessor, Doug Mays, discovered. In a battle of wits with the Gov, they are both seriously under armed. It would be like Neufeld trying to bring down a stealth bomber with a pea shooter. In his case, he could use his brain for ammo.

Noriega: What was he in Hays for anyway?

Me: Some professor said he wanted his students to hear about campaigns from someone who has run a campaign. I thought that was humorous, as any halfwit, like Mel Neufeld (I repeat myself), can register for office in the southwestern part of Kansas, and as long as they put an "R" by their name, they will probably win. Not much for campaign education, in my humble opinion.

Noriega: They just vote for Republicans? Why is that?

Me: Maybe it's all those carbon dioxide emissions.

Noriega: So, you've made it five years. Do you have any goals for your blog?

Me: One thing I'd like to do is skip a blog post. And have them run a picture of me with the square around it that includes "Glenn Staab will return in two weeks." Like they do with big shot columnists in the big cities. Another thing would be to run a blog post from the past with the intro "Glenn Staab is on vacation. Here's a post from the archives." Like they used to do with Molly Ivins. And finally, I would like to defer one each to my brother, Mark, from Dallas, and son, Kevin; whose e-mail responses to my writings usually have LOL.

Noriega: It sounds to me like you're getting lazy.

Me: You asked.

Noriega: I was listening to KAYS radio the other morning and Mike Cooper said something nice about you. How did it go?

Me: He said I reminded him of "Norbert Dreiling with a sharp stick." I was humbled to say the least.

Noriega: (Rolls eyes)

Me: Did you just roll your eyes?

Noriega: I'm just trying to picture you humble. My eyes did the rest.

Noriega: It seems like you're always trying to stir up the pot. You've written about the nasty letters and stuff you get from people that don't like you, so hard to understand why, but do you ever get any positive feedback.

Me: After I wrote about our trip to Arizona, which included a little swipe at Les Knoll, he wrote a letter so full of compliments, it could have been written by my mom. Now, that would explain the local postmark. Also, I recently received a very nice hand-written note from the son of President Gerald Ford, Steve, thanking me for the thoughts I wrote about his father on his passing.

Noriega: So, one positive letter about every 2 years. Not bad.

Me: Despite, your attitude, I'm impressed with the way you are keeping up with current events. What's the deal?

Noriega: That's so I can engage in scintillating conversations with my clientele.

Me: You read that somewhere.

Noriega: Another shot and a beer?

Me: And now, you just read my mind.

Noriega: I'm surprised. Usually, you only talk this much when you have a deadline.

Me: I'm good this week. And I got a few minutes before my D.D. shows up.

(this post was also published at the HDN)