As a near-septuagenarian, I have less and less faith in the smarts of average people. I say that reluctantly, because I myself dearly wish to believe in Santa Claus. Frankly, I once grudgingly believed in George W. Bush, whom I now address as Sir Pinocchio Flight Jacket.
The Internet world is a garden of information, and a land-mine of nonsense. One thing's for sure, it can illustrate that people are amazingly gullible - not that television, radio, and print are problem free. Musing all that, I thought back to a first-year teaching colleague, Bruce Demery. Bruce, a history teacher and a child of the sixties, inserted into his opening lecture a variety of outrageous statements and claims. The kids ate it up. Believed every word.
In a following lecture, Demery told his class that the Dark Ages, from the abandonment of Hadrian's Wall in 410 A.D to 1000 A.D., were so-called because the light bulb hadn't been invented yet. Students dutifully wrote it down. Whereupon Demery reportedly paused and said, "You know, you guys really need a BS detector." Knowing Bruce, it's doubtful he used the initials.
Had he been reported to the administration, his plain speaking might have got him trouble. I'd have given him a medal. He taught his students to check things out, look at a variety of sources, not to swallow automatically anything and everything authority said or wrote.
Recently, I got a sweet, apple-pie e-mail forward allegedly written by George Carlin, the satiric comic and master of expletives. Gee, so maybe George has found the Lord? Actually, the essay was published in 1995 by a Seattle Christian Church minister. Carlin, on his website, calls it "a sappy load of s...." That sounds more like George.
I pointed out the refutation to the friend who sent the e-mail. He responded, "You're probably right that Carlin didn't write it, but didn't you enjoy it anyway?"
No brief for Carlin, but I wonder how my friend might feel if an e-mail he didn't write and didn't agree with flooded the country wrongly crediting him for authorship.
Before that I was told that the carol "The 12 Days of Christmas" was really a Roman Catholic code to teach the core beliefs of the faith in a time of English Protestant suppression. The partridge in the pear tree? That's the Son of God. Three French hens? Faith, hope, and charity. Etcetera. Supposedly, had the author been caught, he or she would have been put to death. Interesting story. BS.
Then there was the Olympic Torch Virus, spread by e-mail since 2000, that was supposed to come as "invitation." If you were dumb enough to open it, a torch illustration would appear, your hard-drive would be toast and your computer would make a squealing sound and pee on your floor. Actually, I made that last part up but you're free to believe it. .
Not long back I wrote about another e-mail hoax, this time with more serious implications. This one bragged on Coloradoans for dealing bravely with the blizzard this past December. At the same time, it labeled all the New Orleans citizens as welfare whiners. The e-mail claimed it first appeared in the Denver Post. It didn't. Actually, the best evidence is that it was written by some anonymous screwball in North Dakota almost two years earlier and was recycled for gullible Coloradoans and Kansans. A lawyer sent it to me as truth. I kid you not.
A couple of months ago I got crosswise with Charlene Watson who writes for the monthly Kansas Senior Times. Charlene had got an e-mail photo of U.S. Marines with their heads bowed, with text declaring that the ACLU had filed an action to prevent Marines from praying. Charlene went ballistics, declaring at length for readers of the Senior Times that the "looney lunes" ACLU was part of an insidious attack on Christianity (and apparently challenging God's blessing on our military.) I expected to see the Gestapo at our Bogue United Methodist Church the next Sunday.
Turns out the ACLU representative named doesn't exist. And U.S. Marine Colonel Jack Fessenden who was protesting for the Corps? No such person. No such action. No shortage of such examples of baloney.
From my observation of our species, it seems to me that beyond what people can personally observe or experience, they too easily accept as truth whatever fulfills one of three criteria, prioritized: (1) It is printed. (2) An authority figure proclaims it, truly or allegedly. (3) It makes them happy, feel important or otherwise alleviates their drab existence. If two are present, belief expands by a factor of ten. If three, by a thousand. Thereafter, repetition works like a branding iron, the burned-in belief carried to the casket.
Bruce Demery was right. We all need working BS detectors. And never more than in these times.
(This column was first published in the Hays Daily News)











