Marge said something like, "And what about you, Fred?" That's when I asked the good doctor his age and found out that he was 51; and had not yet had the procedure which we were all alluding. Or should I say eluding? Here's how that conversation ended about a year and a half ago. "When you go, I go."

So, a few weeks ago, Marge's voice was on our answering machine with the date and time of the procedure along with volunteering to drive to and from the hospital.

The before and after directions arrived in the mail. I was determined to follow them as closely as close can be. I had heard that sometimes a colonoscopy has had to be repeated as the results were unclear due to someone not following directions. That was not going to happen to me. As we say in the real estate biz -- I wanted this to be a "one-time showing."

First direction was the purchase of two 1.5 ounce bottles of Fleet Phospho-soda. Cute name for something that should be called Colon BlowFest. They tell you not to get too far from the bathroom -- good words to live by. I was directed to take it at 7 p.m. and in about 10 minutes it was working its magic. I was also supposed to drink lots of clear liquids in order for the doc "to get a good look" -- so I was drinking water like I had been stranded in a desert.

As you might guess, after a while there is nothing of substance left inside you (I hope that is putting it delicately enough). I think that is where the clear liquids come in. I now know how the term of performing a certain act "through a screen" came to be.

Despite the fact that I felt there couldn't possibly be another movement -- I was to repeat the dosage of the Fleet at 3 a.m. This is where my movement theory was proved so wrong.

Marge picked me up and delivered me to Hays Medical Center as promised. I was given a gown to ready myself. Did I mention the 3 a.m. dose of Fleet? Well, it decided it had to work its magic one more time. I don't even like to go No. 1 with any person in the same ZIP code, so you can imagine how I feel about the other number. I told the nurse and she informed me not to flush so she could take a look. By this time, I could care less. I did and she did and she proclaimed it was perfect. I thought she was gonna slap an "atta boy" sticker on my left cheek.

Time for the procedure. With the type of drugs being used, I was told that I would not remember the procedure. That was untrue and, in retrospect, that was my fault as I should have said something. The air they pump up there was a bit uncomfortable at times, but there were other things more uncomfortable. Like having a nurse that you know working with the doctor on my business end and another nurse visiting with me at the other end.

At one point, I could tell they were having some trouble. They were working the tube thing like they were trying to retrieve some keys out of an ignition with a coat hanger. I found out later that as they scope you, they remove the polyps. One was flat and larger then normal and a bit more difficult to remove.

About a half hour and all was well. The nurse told me there was only one way to get rid of the air inside me and that was by passing. I replied, "I will feel like I'm at a Staab family reunion." She found that humorous. After a follow-up trip to the doc's office a week later, I was pronounced A-OK and told to check back in five years for Part Dos.

Here's the serious part. While I awaited the results of the big polyp, I had time to reflect a bit. Even if cancerous, I knew the treatment of colon cancer in the early stages has a high success rate. I'm 50 years old and I have done a lot, but I have a lot more to do.

I noticed the different attitudes of males and females towards colonoscopies in the weeks prior to the procedure. Women congratulated me for thinking of my family. Men often would change the subject. I was pleasantly surprised at the number of men who had already been there, done that.

The American Cancer Society reports that women have as much of a chance as getting colorectal cancer as men. I'm addressing the men in this column, because women are tougher and smarter than us and they'll do what needs to be done. Colorectal cancer only follows lung cancer with its fatality rate.

All of our lives are touched by cancer. Too many friends and family are taken way before their time. Personally, I learned today of a family friend in her 20s being treated for Hodgkin's lymphoma. I have friends in treatment right now.

I ignored responsibility for 18 months, but had a happy ending. I am the biggest weinie I know.

If I can do it, you can do it. Git 'er done.